Ask Erin Anything! – Anal Sex, Part 2


     I still have some questions about anal sex. If you don’t do an enema or take a shit beforehand, if he thrusts too hard, can poop come out?
     In a pinch, can you do it without lube?
     I want to do it, but I’m kinda “scared” to. Maybe apprehensive is the better term.
     Also, will anal sex over time loosen your anus muscles and you can lose control of your bowels?
                                                                     Thanks! – Apprehensive About Anal

Dear Apprehensive,

These are all excellent questions!

Thank you for reading my first in-depth post about anal, where I address the basics of trying anal for the first time.

There’s always a chance feces may come out during anal sex, but honestly the chances are pretty small. Usually it’s not a problem if you’re eating well and drinking lots of water, no matter when you decide to have anal sex. If you don’t feel completely empty, maybe wait a bit or try another time. In the beginning, the feeling of having some foreign object in that part of your body can trigger cramps or make it seem like you need to poop, but eventually you’ll be able to tell the difference.

In my opinion, it’s never ideal to have anal sex without lube. Always have lube around! But since you asked, yes, in a pinch you CAN have anal penetration without lube. Spit can work just as well and shower sex helps too. If you don’t have access to lube, use spit before anything else. Don’t put some random goo inside your body.

I personally wouldn’t make it a habit to have anal sex without lube, because rough, dry sex can cause all sorts of discomfort and pain. It can cause tears and bleeding. While these things are minor and inconvenient, they cannot cause permanent loosening of your anus muscles nor will pleasurable anal sex cause bowel incontinence directly. Since we’re on the subject, a lot of sex won’t make your vagina loose either. This article is pretty informative on the subject: A Primer on What Sex Does (And Doesn’t) Do To Your Vagina and Butthole.

Always aim for pleasure from any kind of sex. If it doesn’t feel good physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, why are you engaging in it? You’re not obligated to do anything you don’t want to. Don’t ever let a partner pressure you into something.

If you need more guidance, refer back to my initial post about anal, or shoot me a message at with Ask Erin Anything! in the subject line.

Keep your butt and your heart happy!

Ask Erin Anything! is published here every Monday. If you want to leave a comment, you may need to scroll up or down depending on your desktop or mobile device.

Fill my empty cup with your wisdom.

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